


Kindred

by perezimovat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, F/M, Family, Gen, Hurt, PTSD, Recovery, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:37:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6625327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perezimovat/pseuds/perezimovat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the avengers don't sleep. but during the night they spend time alone. wanda finds the set up between the superheroes compelling and odd as she wanders the compound late at night before finding someone sitting alone and finding herself talking to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kindred

**Author's Note:**

> n.b - this is mostly because me and my friend Loren are obsessed with the wanda/bucky friendship. we actively don't ship it romantically but are interested in looking at the platonic way these two can interact. it's also something we enjoy because we cosplay bucky and wanda respectively. so we were talking on messenger and she basically told my fat butt to write something for her to read.  
> so here it is.  
> disclaimer; i have a very bad habit (born from rping sorry) of not using capitals (blame tumblr rp formatting) so if i've missed a capital letter here or there, i apologize profusely

There is something oddly fascinating about the way the Avengers are when they are not out avenging. At least in Wanda's mind, she found their whole set up odd. But she had been told herself repeatedly at times when she was confused or lost or scared that the normal world, the world outside Struckers kingdom and domain was so much kinder than she thought. And it was a strange thought.

At the same time though. The world was darker and poisonous to the point where she actively tried to avoid it. Only certain people seemed to be able to pull her out of her whirring thoughts and emotions.

She moved silently throughout the compound. Darkness seeping in as the night waned into existence, Wanda often found herself not sleeping as a general rule of thumb. The energy coursing through her veins made her sleep limited as she connected with everyone in the world and they connected to her.

But nights. Oh they were peaceful. An echoing silence that reigned in the compound that she found oddly calming. Relaxing even. And she needed that. Since Pietro - oh Pietro. she closed her eyes and dipped her head at the thought of him. Her darling twin. He often could quell her sorrows. Make it seem like the world was a good and just place. Even when with Strucker it seemed like it was not.

Wrapping her shawl around her shoulders, Wanda continued to walk barefoot through the night. She passed a door and looked through at the gym seeing the good Captain Rogers finishing up a session. she found that he too didn't sleep. In fact, most of them didn't. But she whilst she and Captain Rogers were close - so much so that he had been helping her practice and maintain a steady control of her powers - she felt an energy around him that informed her that he was getting ready to retreat into his room. And she didn't want to burden him. He was a good man. And he had enough on his shoulders without her adding needlessly.

Moving quietly still, her attentions were drawn to the kitchen where she sensed someone else. Trying to get a fix on the energy, she was met with a static. A noise almost that was too difficult to ignore. She knew that static anywhere. It was that of James Barnes. or Bucky as he preferred to be called. He was a strange one to say the least, Or that's what Wanda thought. Whilst she couldn't exactly read minds, she was able to pick pieces out from their heads and learn from them. She had done it to the Avengers when they first encountered them and used it to fuel their darker parts of themselves. But with Barnes... No. It was like television or radio static whenever she was near him. Like there was no clarity or rhyme or reason to his thoughts.

And it made it difficult to gain any sort of knowledge of him.

That and it didn't help that he kept himself mostly to himself. She would often see him around with headphones stuck to his ears or preparing some huge weapon that she didn't want to know the reason for having. Still, she knew that he was close to Captain Rogers. That they had been close and if Captain Rogers trusted him, then he was a man to be trusted.

Lips pursing and wondering what he was doing, Wanda dipped into the kitchen to see Barnes sitting at a table by himself. He looked tired and a little pale, but there was a faint flush to his cheek that noted to her that overall he was in good health.

Much better health than he had been after S.H.I.E.L.D fell at least. She had seen the footage of him being chased around the world. And saw brief glimpses of the Winter Soldier file. Moving by the door, Wanda fixed her hand gently on the door frame and watched him curiously for a moment as he hunched over a bowl of cereal.

"It's not nice to lurk in doorways," Bucky called at her, spooning some more mixture from the bowl but not taking a bite. He glanced over and raised an eyebrow before giving a tired looking smile and waving her over to come and join him. "Can't sleep huh?"

Wanda, apprehensive to say the least, let her feet move towards him. Even just a little. But she did not take the request to sit down. She'd rather stand. Their conversations had been fleeting almost and had provided little to their pasts. An odd nod there. A pass of milk. Watching him spar with Captain Rogers most mornings whilst waiting for her turn to practice. But Bucky was one of those who was silent and often didn't let his thoughts fall from him.

Or at least Wanda assumed he couldn't.

"Kid, you're staring," He told her shaking his head and returning to the bowl in front of him before pursing his lips.

"I wondered -" Wanda stopped and cleared her throat before trying to pursue the american way of speaking. She had been practicing to try and fit in. Be more like them. "I wondered, what do you think about?"

Bucky paused, looking ahead of himself before shaking his head. "I don't think." He told her.

"Everybody thinks." She responded, her fingers tailing at the ends of her shawl as she watched him carefully. She wanted to know his answer wanting perhaps maybe to know if any kindred thoughts passed through him as much as she thought about the lives she had a hand in taking.

"I'm not everybody," Bucky responded before lifting his foot and using it to push the seat opposite him from underneath the table. The legs gave a squeak against the lino flooring and Wanda winced slightly at it. Biting her bottom lip, she moved around him and went to sit, shuffling her shawl more tightly around her shoulders. Very aware that they were two extremely broken individuals who were sitting in their pyjama's (and in her case an extremely thin nightgown) in the early hours of a Thursday morning and eating... She read the cereal box. Lucky Charms.

The situation would be considered humorous if it wasn't so dire.

"Everybody thinks," She repeated back to him as he reached forward for a glass of water that was sitting a few inches from him. Wanda studied quietly, taking in the fact that he had his phone beside him with his earphones and the display read "The Lucifer Effect." an audiobook perhaps? She gestured to it. "What-"

Bucky wasn't paying attention to the fact that she was asking about what he was listening to. He leaned back and folded his arms and shook his head. "Why do you hide your accent? Your Sokovian right? Why are you ashamed of that?"

Wanda found his question a little impersonal and blinked. Her natural defense was to give a laugh in sort of shock and she shook her head, jaw gaping slightly. "I don't think that is your business."

"Are you ashamed people will hear your accent and blame you for what happened in Sokovia?" he asked.

Wanda blinked. "I... That's..." She shook her head. "I don't want..."

Bucky pursed his lips and kept an eye on her expression before glancing down at her hands. The red energy was beginning to practically bleed through her fingertips and spreading out into the air. Holding up his hand in mock surrender, he returned to pushing the spoon against the bowl.

"I ask... Because." He was choosing his words wisely and Wanda looked down at her fingers. Giving a little shake of her head her energy - she refused to call it magic - seeped back in like a spring coil. "I ask because every time I speak to you, you look scared. Scared that people will know you come from there. I can understand, Sokovia has a bad history. Worse now after what Ultron did."

"That doesn't make any sense." Wanda told him almost sharply, the mention of Ultron bringing back with sharp reality that her brother was now dead.

Bucky gave a small chuckle before getting up and going to the fridge. Wanda made to stand up too before realizing that he was just getting more milk. He made his way back to his seat and shuffled for a moment before clearing his throat.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean..." Bucky was silent for a long moment and Wanda tried once again to focus on his thoughts. Met with more static and what felt like screaming, She retreated and left him with them alone. "I mean that Sokovia is a country that before world war two, didn't exist. It was a piece of land that was annexed by Germany in order to maintain secure borders with Russia. in 1945 when the land that Germany had taken was divided among the allies - Romania, Czechoslovakia, Poland and... Russia."

"I don't need need the history lesson," Wanda told him sharply.

"You kinda do, Sokovia's not known for it's brilliant history program." Bucky told her. Wanda folded her arms getting anxious and annoyed. She preferred him being quiet if she was perfectly honest. "Like i was saying, Russia got Sokovia. And it became one of the states of the the Soviet Union which was fine until 1967 when the Americans and their waging their war against Communism starts becoming really prevalent in Sokovia. Suddenly Sokovians don't want to be in the U.S.S.R."

He stopped. "You're too young to know that it resulted in a violent bloody revolt. Lots of people died and... I was called in to assist." He paused. "I... Don't remember much of that year. That was a few years after they started wiping me periodically after..."

Wanda watched him intently. Where was he going with this? She knew of her history and her past. She grew in a bloody war torn country. But the way he was speaking was lessening with the loud static in his head. And that intrigued her. It was like she was now able to go inside and pluck things. Bits and pieces. Words and phrases. It was fascinating. and to her, terrifying. And she wanted to lock it out almost immediately.

Bucky poured some more milk into his bowl and cleared his throat. "Any way Leonid Brezhnev - secretary at the time of the U.S.S.R and self appointed jackass - deployed several secret warriors to Sokovia including Black Widow."

Wanda blinked and frowned. Bucky shook his head. "Not our Black Widow. Not Natasha. Black Widow is a title passed down but that's a different story. And i went too."

He licked his lips. "After Sokovia split I was also sanctioned to execute certain members of the Political Party of Independence for Sokovia. Also known as the P.P.I.S. Do you-"

"I know of them." Wanda said quietly. Tired of the exposition, Wanda stood. "Is that all? A history lesson and questions about my accent? Because-"

"I'm asking because..." Bucky motioned for her to sit down and she found herself doing it anyway regardless of what she wanted. "Because... I know what it's like to run from your past."

Wanda froze. So that's what he was getting at. She supposed he had to go this way around it because otherwise she would never speak to him. But at the same time, she felt that he had completely overstepped his mark. She stood again. "I'm not running from my past." She told him bluntly before moving away.

"You're running from something," Bucky called. "It's why you're awake at 3.40am. It's why you decline to go on so many scout missions. It's why you are hesitant to open up to people and trust them." He turned and leaned his arm against the back of his chair watching her intently. She tried not to look at his eyes. Which felt like they were burrowing themselves into her soul.

"Why are you asking?" She said quietly. "What does it matter? The whole avengers are all running from something. You don't ask them."

"They don't have as much blood on their hands as we do." Bucky said with a small shrug. "Even if we aren't to blame. And they chose their path. We never did. We just go lucky towards the end." He offered her a smile. "And i recognize a kindred spirit when i see one." He turned back to his cereal before pushing the bowl away.

Wanda stood there for a moment thinking over his words. Her hands were red most days. But not with blood. Not usually at least. When she first got her powers - when they first manifested to say - she imagined that it was blood. And those thoughts never left her. It moved from her mother and father. To people she hurt. To now... Pietro's. A kindred spirit. She only thought of her brother as a kindred spirit. She didn't even think that anyone could be a kindred spirit.

"I don't..."

Bucky looked over at her again for a moment, His jaw clenching. "No one understands us. And that... Makes us dangerous in their eyes. Sp we put up with the nightmares. We do what we can. We spar. Or in your case, you practice... Whatever the hell it is you do. We wander around at night and cereal at ungodly hours and talk about running away from things. And we can't help but think the world would a better place without us."

Wandas heart sank when she heard the words that she had so often thought of be voiced by another person. Perhaps they were kindred spirits. "Don't pretend to know how i feel." She said quietly.

"I'm not going to." He said waving his hand slightly as she made her way back to the table and sat down opposite him. "You lost your brother. Your mother and your father. i can't for a moment imagine how you feel. But i can empathize. And that's close enough."

He offered her a smile before pouring himself another bowl of cereal and milk. Eating it silently, Wanda watched, Her shawl tighter than it had ever been as if the red fabric was a barrier between herself and the words the other man talked so freely about in front of her so calmly. "My brother... He always protected me." She said quietly, her fingers nursing the rings she wore. Most of them jewels that Pietro had stolen from her, Save the ring on her wedding finger. Her mothers engagement ring. Pietro had their father's wedding ring. Which he had always worn on a chain around his neck until the day he died.

Bucky leaned forward interested in what she had to say and she cleared her throat, her eyes flickering down slightly as she thought back to her brother. She didn't realize that the red energy was sparking out of her like electricity. Bucky however didn't seem to mind. Almost like he was accustomed to it.

"My brother always used to play pranks on me. We used to run together. And he would always overtake me and do it several times. Each time becoming more annoying." Her face sparkled a small smile as the memory came flooding back. "But we were nearing towards a river and he didn't notice and he fell in. And i remember him emerging holding a fish. He had caught a fish. And he was holding it like it was the best thing in the world. And... I remember the fish didn't like him so it flapped at him-"

"Flapped?"

Wanda frowned and made a motion with her hand. "With it's tail. And Pietro lost his grip and the fish fell back into the water and he was yelling that he was angry because he wanted to bring it home." She smiled again this time wider.

"I remember we never cooked it. I thought it was cruel. The fish did not want to be caught. The fish was... Fine swimming on its own. It was cruel. And my brother saw my expression and he realized... I was grateful that day."

"That's a lot of feelings about a fish," Bucky noted with a slight chuckle.

Wanda looked over at him and gave a small smile and laugh herself. Looking back on it. It seemed so silly now. "I thought at the time, I was being a good person. A small act of kindness to make up for the horrors."

Bucky licked his lips and nodded before looking over her shoulder. "So was this stream in the middle of a Sokovian wood?"

"Yes," Wanda said.

"Lots of trees? Some snow on the ground? A big rock across the stream?" Bucky continued.

She frowned. "Those are oddly specific details." She told him. "What are you-"

Bucky pointed and stood up. Following his gaze, she looked around and was taken aback. Almost like a rippling effect she saw a reflection of the memory she had described. Like a huge window gaping into the past for her to see. Not seeing herself, she supposed this was a memory from her point of view. It had opened up across the edge of the kitchen, the edges bleeding with her magic and fully immersing in the memory. Bucky had stepped behind her and was watching intently as she moved towards the winter scene and then - 

Oh. Oh Pietro.

Her heart felt like it stopped when she saw his face appear out from the stream a huge grin on his face and holding the biggest fish she had ever seen.

"Is it real? Or is it...?" Bucky was wondering out loud as his metal fingers graced the edge of it. There was some surface tension, like touching water or ice. But it rippled around his hands for a moment then went back to normal. whatever normal was.

"Oh Pietro." Wanda said, her voice breaking slightly as the image focused on her brother as he bounded towards them holding the fish proudly in his hand. She reached out almost hoping that she could touch him again but her fingers met with the same reaction Bucky's did.

She heard her voice. the same words from that moment and time telling him to put the fish back where it belonged. Pietro was shaking his head and Bucky laughed slightly. again Wanda's voice crept out bleeding from the memory softly.

This time Pietro listened to her. Heading back to the stream the reflection followed deftly, Watching Pietro place the animal back into the water and watching it swim off away, getting as far away from them as it could. Bucky's gaze was torn between Wanda beside him, and the memory that was open for him to see.

Wanda's fingers reached out again but came to nothing. But her brother did look up at her. "Hou're too good for this world sister," He said softly.

"Oh Pietro." Wanda's voice broke completely and the red energy pulling the window open quickly coiled back into her fingers leaving nothing of the past left save a trace of snow that had billowed in. Wanda felt a tightening in her chest and an inability to breath, her breaths becoming short and panicked and sad.

Bucky was quick. He made to take Wanda by the elbow before she even collapsed onto the ground but couldn't stop her. So instead, he dropped with her as she held herself. Tears streaming down her face and muttering to herself. Bucky knelt beside her and sighed.

"Does that happen a lot?" He asked quietly.

She shook her head. That was a no then. Bucky gave a small sigh as she tried to get herself into a better place but he figured the kitchen was not the best way to do it.

"Okay come on," He murmured softly before reaching and pulling her up to her feet. Tucking his arm underneath her knees and lifted her up. "Come on then kid." He gave a sigh and made his way to her room.

Wanda curled her fingers around his t-shirt as she felt her chest heave. She let him carry her back to her room. Unsure if her legs would actually move. Seeing her brother again brought back how lost she was without him. How she relied on him for most of her early life. She needed him. More than she realized and more than she wanted to admit.

She found herself on her bed and Bucky was tidying up around her so that she could get in comfortably. Her things strewn across her bed since she never seemed to be able to get used to having such a big bed to herself. He picked up her cardigan and some of her clothes before dumping them in the laundry basket.

"How do you cope?" She asked quietly. "With losing someone close?"

Bucky stopped halfway through what he was doing before giving a sigh and sitting down next to her. Wanda focused her thoughts and tried to focus on his too, now nothing but loud static.

"I don't." He told her calmly. "I really don't. I'm not coping with... Any of this." He gave a gesture. "And I say that because I can't tell Steve." He paused and pursed his lips. "I want to but... Can't let him know that it... Being who i am destroys me on a near daily basis. If it wasn't for Steve i would genuinely think about committing suicide."

Wanda sniffed and ran her hand across her nose and face trying to compose herself slightly.

"But I've always faked any confidence I've had. Fake it till you make it as someone once said. Think it was Mae West." He paused and frowned.

"Who's Mae West?" Wanda asked.

"You kidding me kid? Mae west! Famous model? No? Jesus Christ." Bucky chuckled and rubbed his eye.

"Does it hurt?"

Bucky looked at her for a moment and gave a small nod. "Yes."

"I mean your arm-"

"I know." Bucky responded quietly. "And yeah, it does. I ignore it most days. But it's less of a reminder that i am an amputee. And more so about how the choice of me dealing with an injury was taken from me. I've always seen this thing-" He lifted his arm. "As a sort of symbol of how my choice was taken."

"And how do you see it now?"

Bucky gave a shrug. "Still working on that kid."

They sat in silence for a moment as Wanda leaned against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his arm as if holding onto it was going to help. Breathing softly she couldn't shake the reminder of what it was like to see Pietro again. She forgot his smile. How could she forget his smile? She scolded herself softly and sighed, Closing her eyes and listening to Bucky's breathing.

"So you and Vision?" Bucky asked lifting her from her thoughts. She blinked suddenly and looked up at him as he quirked an eyebrow at her playfully.

"Who told you-"

"Please, I'm part spy and assassin. come on. that's insulting." Bucky said. "How long's that been happening?"

"It's not.. I've... We've not done-"

"Hey, I don't want details." Bucky teased her lightly. "I don't want to even think about how it would work. Look I just seen the way you look at him and the way he looks at you and your both... fascinated by each other. and i think more often than not, it can lead to feelings of mutual interest."

"you're not my father, you have no say in it." Wanda said shaking her head but smiling slightly as a red tinge painted her cheeks with a glow, the stains of her tears disappearing slightly.

"Pfft, no thanks. Barton's your dad."

"He's not my-"

"Listen, Barton is everyone's dad. Christ, man looks after everyone," Bucky thought for a moment. "Think of me as just a concerned uncle."

"A monkey's uncle." Wanda muttered under her breath.

"Wow, that hurt." Bucky said before laughing. Wanda looked over at him and laughed too, shaking her head and looking away. It took several minutes for them to get back in the room before she turned back to look at Bucky.

"Why were you up?" SHe asked.

Bucky fell silent and dipped his head, Thinking quietly as he mulled over her question. It wasn't unusual for him to be up. But often no one questioned or called him out on it. and he preferred it that way. But her question was like a large thorn sticking its way into his side.

"I won't tell Captain Rogers." She said.

Bucky smiled and looked over. "I would let you see kid, I really would. But my memories scare me. I wouldn't wish to share them with anyone. And they make me scared to fall asleep. I guess I'm scared I'll forget." He tapped her knee and pushed himself off the bed.

"James?" She asked.

Bucky stopped and looked over tilting his head. "No one has called me James in years. Not since mom died." He leaned against the doorway. Wanda felt she had overstepped her mark but when he said nothing more she figured it was okay.

"Thank you."

"Yeah." he tapped her door frame. "And kid?"

"Mm?"

"Don't be afraid to talk Sokovian in front of the others." He offered her a smile and left her. Wanda frowned and looked away for a moment before realizing what he meant. How seamlessly he had slipped into speaking her natural tongue and how easily she followed until it felt completely normalized. She hadn't even noticed she was speaking another language until he had pointed it out.

Fingers raised to her mouth and she thought for a moment. Maybe there was nothing to be ashamed of. Not really. With that thought, she let a small smile flicker across her face. The memory of her brother still fresh in her mind as she curled into the sheets and touched the chain and ring on her bedside cabinet.

Giving a small sigh, Wanda closed her eyes and smiled into a sort of effortless sleep.

_"Pietro slow down."_

_"Keep up you!"_

_"I can't when you're using your powers!"_

_"Can't catch me! Can't catch me! Can't catch me!"_

_"Pietro look out!" Wanda skids to a halt and watches as her brother goes head first into a river. She watches terrified for a moment before he reappears and stands in the middle of the water. By all accounts he should be shivering but instead he's holding a fish in his hand. He holds it out to her before climbing back up the bank._

_"Look Wanda!" He shouts at her as she moves closer. "I got us supper."_

_"pietro put the fish back." Wanda orders him quietly, not liking how the animal is moving against his hand. "Put it back."_

_"It's just a fish!"_

_"A fish that's done no harm to you so put it back."_

_Pietro looks at his sister with sad eyes before hopping back over the river. Wanda follows him and sits beside the river bank as Pietro lowers the fish back into the water. It takes no time to scurry from his fingers and back out the way. Pietro stares after it for a minute and then looks at his sister._

_"You're too good for this world sister."_


End file.
